One of the saddest confusions in spiritual formation is to take “denying ourselves” to mean “rejecting ourselves”. We do not reject our position in Christ and who we are in the kingdom of God. However, we do need to get “ourselves” and our will and personal agenda out of the way, so that Jesus can show us His will and agenda.
Let’s explore further the deeper meaning of “denying ourselves” by looking at Luke 9:23-27:
And he said to all, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it. For what does it profit a man if he gains the whole world and loses or forfeits himself? For whoever is ashamed of me and of my words, of him will the Son of Man be ashamed when he comes in his glory and the glory of the Father and of the holy angels. But I tell you truly, there are some standing here who will not taste death until they see the kingdom of God.”
The two requirements that Jesus has made clear for all His disciples – the first is to deny themselves and the second is to carry their own cross. The idea of discipleship becomes blatantly clear – Jesus did not die on the cross so that we can just go to heaven. Going to heaven is already a guaranteed notion and it did not come at the instant moment that we were saved. There is another aspect that we may have to learn and that is Jesus died on the cross so that while we are living here on earth, we have the opportunity to learn how to die to ourselves.
THE CALL TO DIE TO SELF
Even though we have been justified by the death and resurrection of Christ, there is still the sanctification or transforming process that the Holy Spirit has to work within our lives. God accepted us as who we were before we were born again but He does not want us to remain in our old carnal selves. He wants us to be like His Son, Jesus Christ. He wants to get rid of our selfishness, self-centeredness, and self-focus, and so He said to take up the cross and not just one time but to take it up daily. God is actually asking us to lose our life permanently for the sake of the gospel. Just as Deitrich Bonhoeffer in his book, The Cost of Discipleship, wrote, “When Christ calls a man, He bids him come and die.”
Like most believers, I am much happier to preach “how to deny the cross” not “how to deny myself”. I prefer to pick myself up daily instead of picking up the cross. It is hard to follow the instruction of Jesus to deny myself and pick up the cross because I like myself too much. However, taking up my cross daily is the message that I need to hear and you need to hear because it is the most important message from the Lord.
There is seldom a big moment whereby we will be martyred like Peter being crucified upside down or like Paul who had his head cut off. For most of us, it is not that one big moment of being a martyr for Christ. It is more like every day, every moment, every action that we do, every conversation, every discussion. It is our entire life, that we must choose whether we would deny ourselves or that we would deny our cross.
WE DON’T LIKE THE CROSS
The chances are that we would very naturally deny the cross. We don’t like the cross because we don’t like to die to ourselves. I am writing from real-life experience, and I think you can identify with me. And so, the decision that I am going to make for myself is a moment-by-moment decision. As I begin to focus on the moment and live for the “now” and that means that I am very aware of the presence of God, then all these little moments when I add them up, become my whole life. So, for us to have a spiritual life, we must take care of the little moments. And by carrying our cross in those little moments, we are learning to walk towards the heart of God, learning to become like His Son, Jesus Christ.
How do we know that we are really denying ourselves? We do so by listening to what we are saying and how we are speaking. If we talk a lot about our successes, achievements, glories, and trophies then it is obvious that we are carrying “ourselves” and not the “cross”. Once we focus upon Christ, we have begun the process of denying ourselves. The very moment, we drop this burden of carrying “ourselves”, we can then carry the cross. As in Matthew 6:24, Jesus said that no man can serve two masters. We have to hate one and love the other – so as long as we are carrying “ourselves”, we will hate the “cross”.
HANDING-OVER PRAYER
Even though in some unguarded moments, we may fail to deny ourselves and carry the cross, the Holy Spirit will remind us to do so. We may react to some unhappy events, have certain unhealthy conversations that will trigger our anger, stir our bitterness and drive us to the cliff of hatred. In those moments, the still small voice of the Holy Spirit will speak and guide us back to the cross.
That is why we recommend “Handing-over prayer“. It is a good praying approach as you learn how to embrace all the hurts of criticism and then gently hand them over to Jesus. You are saying to the Lord, “Your will be done”. You are learning to deny yourself the right to be angry or upset with another person. The Holy Spirit will encourage you, “I want you to release that bitterness to the Lord because you don’t have the capacity to hold this bitterness; keep this hatred; sustain this jealousy or carry this envy; you have to hand over.”
What a privilege to have the Holy Spirit guiding us at all times. Here is a message by Rev Albert Kang that may help you in your spiritual journey of transformation.
Albert Connect 